


"Your mother is a fish?"

by bestliars



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fae, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Animal Transformation, Houston Aeros, M/M, Minnesota Wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 18:18:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestliars/pseuds/bestliars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s this boy Marco likes, and he thinks the boy likes him too, and they go down to the swimming pool after curfew, and the boy leans in close, and asks Marco if he trusts him. Marco says yes. And then...well...you won’t believe what happens next.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Your mother is a fish?"

**Author's Note:**

> This happens in the end of the 2010-11 season, during the AHL playoffs, but that doesn’t matter at all.  
> Warning for discussion of religion and homophobia. Feel free to ask me if you want more details.  
> Thanks to Stellarer for betaing, and encouraging this, and for not breaking up with me even though I’ve told her this story like ten thousand times. Also shout out to the people who I’ve told this to at the bar, or in cars, or other places, who are amazingly still friends with me.  
> fun fact: I wrote like 95% of this longhand in my American Lit 2 class! I'm sure it looked like I was diligently taking notes, but no, it was this.

**1**

Marco is so fucking confused. Like, really, about zero percent of of this makes any sense. How could he possibly begin to explain?

**2**

“So there’s this boy I like, and I think he likes me too, but we aren’t talking about it. Then one night he says he has something important to tell me, and we sneak out after curfew and go to the hotel pool. He leans in and says he really trusts me. I wonder if he’s going to lean in closer and kiss me. But he doesn’t. He stands up, takes his shirt off, puts his hand on my shoulder to steady himself as he takes his shorts off too, boxers and everything. We change in front of each other all the time, so nothing new, but it’s still the boy I like, and that’s his dick _right there_ , and his hand on my shoulder. He jumps in the pool, says he has to show me because I won’t believe him otherwise. Then he’s gone, and there’s this fucking huge fish in the pool. What the hell?”

**3**

It’s deserted — Milwaukee in early May isn’t exactly swimming weather, especially not at night. But it’s warm enough for two Canadian boys. They sit on the edge of the pool, dangling their feet in the water. 

They’re not talking, just sitting there. It’s nice, but Marco had been expecting more words than this. Maybe that comes later.

Jared dragged him down here with the promise of an explanation, claiming that he had something important to say. Dragged may be the wrong word; Marco went willingly.

“You know I trust you, right?” Jared says.

Marco nods. They haven’t known each other for too long yet, just this season, but he trusts Jared; he likes Jared, and likes that Jared seems to trust him too.

It’s almost romantic, sitting together in the dark, with headlights going past on the highway in the distance.

Jared stands up suddenly. Marco looks up at him, a different view than usual. Jared strips quickly, shivers once, then jumps into the water.

Marco doesn’t know what’s happening. He says, “What the hell, Spurg, we’re skinny dipping now?”

Jared’s standing in the pool, water up to his ribs. “I have something to tell you, but you won’t believe me, so I’m going to show you first.”

That sounds ominous. “Okay?” Marco has no idea what’s going on.

Then Jared isn’t there anymore. 

Marco hasn’t blinked, Jared is just gone. 

There’s something in the water. Marco leans forward to see what. There’s a giant fucking fish in the pool. It wasn’t there a minute ago. It’s a weird looking thing, grey, long bodied, with fins sticking out. It has a flat face, wide set eyes, and whiskers. Marco doesn’t know what kind of fish it is, but he thinks it must some kind of crazy dinosaur thing.

The fish bumps up against Marco’s leg, giving it a friendly nudge. He holds his hand out just above the surface, but is scared to reach in and touch it.

Then the fish is _gone,_ and Jared is there again.

“What the hell was that?” Marco asks.

“I can turn into a fish,” Jared says, like that’s an answer.

“You can turn into a fish. You _turned_ into a fish. What the hell, how does that work.”

“My mother—” Jared starts.

Marco interrupts him. “Your mother is a fish?”

“No,” Jared sighs. “I’m Fae, on my mother’s side. She’s part of the Northwestern Sturgeon clan.”

“That’s a thing?” Marco’s still stunned. “Fairies are a thing?”

Jared scowls, and says, “Well, they like it if you use the word Fae, but yeah, they are. I mean, we are.”

“You’re a sturgeon fae on your mother’s side, which means you can turn into a fish.”

“Yes. Does that make sense?”

Marco thinks about it. “No. Not really. But either you can turn into a fish, or I’m dreaming, so I guess right now the best thing for me to do is just go with it and see what happens.”

“You’re not dreaming,” Jared says. 

Marco’s pretty sure that’s right, which is terrifying.

“Well, then I guess there’s a whole lot I don’t know. Like, that the Fae are a thing. That’s pretty weird.” It’s a lot to take in. Marco doesn’t really know where to start. It isn’t just that Jared can turn into a fish. There’s a whole world out there of Fae and magic that he knows nothing about. He should stop thinking about the big picture, get back to the present moment of a swimming pool in San Antonio, where his friend is still naked in the water. 

Jared shivers. Marco isn’t trying to notice how Jared’s wet hair is lies on his forehead, or how the cold air is making his nipples hard. This moment is overwhelming for a lot of reasons, not just the obvious magic-related ones. Jared isn’t the only one with secrets. This wasn’t the conversation Marco expected.

“You look cold,” Marco says, just to have something to say.

“Yeah,” Jared says, and shivers again.

“We should go inside.” Marco may not have any idea what to do with the whole fish-fae thing, but at least they could deal with it where they’re warm.

**4**

They go upstairs. It’s chilly, and Jared is wet. They aren’t done talking yet, but there isn’t any reason for them to stick by the pool. It served its purpose, Marco saw Jared change. They can continue this in their room.

Technically, they’re sneaking around, but after everything Jared just said bending curfew seems like a very small secret. Kass catches them in the hallway. Jared is still dripping and hasn’t bothered to put his shirt back on. Marco doesn’t know how he looks, but flustered is a fair guess. Kass doesn’t say anything, but he winks, which may be worse.

Anyway, they get back to the room without any trouble, which is good. At least it’s Kass, who’s a friend, someone Marco more-or-less trusts. Kass isn’t going to make it anything. One time Kass said he thought Marco and Jared were “sweet together,” which is a problem for sure, but a different kind. Tonight Kass can think what he likes, as long as he isn’t asking any questions. If they’d bumped into Yeo or one of the trainers and had to explain why they were out Marco isn’t sure he wouldn’t have blurted out, “Spurg is a fish,” or something equally terrible. 

Fortunately they’re not going to find out. They’re back now, it only took Marco three tries to make the key card work while Jared shivered in the air conditioned hallway. Once they’re back in their room, Marco feels a little bit better. This is where they’re supposed to be, and no one should interrupt them. They’ll be able to talk now, and hopefully it will start to make sense.

Jared changes into something dry, while Marco sprawls on his bed, carefully not looking. He closes his eyes. Maybe they should just go to sleep and figure this out in the morning. But Marco has questions and Jared seems willing to answer them.

“What’s it like?” Marco asks, eyes still shut. “Growing up Fae?”

“I don’t really, like, have anything to compare it to,” Jared says. “It wasn’t a big deal when I was a kid. The magical world was always just...right over there, out of the way. Being part fae is something you grow into, so it didn’t really matter much. I guess I knew my family was kind of weird, but doesn’t everyone think that? Then I left to play hockey, so… I didn’t think about it much.”

There is something really strange about what they both did, leaving home to play hockey. It’s worked out pretty well for the two of them, but it still a bit ridiculous, to leave home at sixteen, all in the hope that it will land them here, playing as a pro. Although considering what Marco’s learned today, it’s not nearly as strange as some things are. “Still, it’s got to be weird, right? I mean, you can turn into a fish.”

“Yeah, but that’s basically it. I don’t _have_ to change if I don’t want to. I can see other fae, most other supernatural stuff, but that isn’t all that exciting. I don’t heal any faster, nothing useful. I mean, your family is really Italian, yeah? It’s kind of like that. It’s my heritage, but it’s not _me_ , at least not now, not all the time. It's kind of cool that it's there if I want to be part of it. Like, this is what I want to be doing right now, but later on if that's a thing I want to be a part of...that's kind of comforting."

Marco gets that. Sometimes he thinks about his brother playing in Italy. He was able to take that part of their family story and make it part of his everyday life. Giulio is close to their dad’s siblings, and their cousins on that side, relations who Marco has only met briefly.

“Yeah, kind of. But it’s not really the same. Because like, I know another language, and could get citizenship over there if I wanted to. And you can _turn into a fish._ ”

Jared laughs. Marco doesn’t really see what’s so funny.

This is just...really really weird, and Marco doesn’t know the right thing to say at all. He could give up and figure out the right question in the morning. There has to be a right question, something he could ask, something Jared could say, that would get this all figured out. Right now it feels like they don’t have the right words for understanding.

**5**

What if they hadn’t gone to the pool, what Jared hadn’t turned into a fish, what if he had just said, “I’m a fairy.” (Yeah, Marco knows that’s not the world, but just pretend for a moment.) Marco’s sure as hell his first thought wouldn’t be that Spurg is saying he’s a magical creature.

Fairy is the kind of name kids like calling each other. It’s something that’s supposed to be bad, something you don’t want to be, but not strong enough to get in trouble if a parent overhears. Marco remembers hearing it before he even knew what it meant, remembers getting called fairy sometimes, not even by neighborhood bullies, but by friends when he missed a shot or tripped over his own fast-growing feet. It reminds him of being young, too young to know what’s supposed to hurt. He didn’t really mind it, not as much as what came next.

People learned worse words and he learned they were right about him. Growing up was real great.

Most the time it wasn’t even about him, often it wasn’t about anyone. No one really thinks their math homework is into dudes, but the target doesn’t matter when a word shot all around, unavoidable.

If Spurg had said he was a fairy would Marco have managed to mumble something about how he likes guys too? Maybe. Maybe.

**6**

What’s it even like to have that kind of secret, the kind no one would believe? _Sturgeon Fae? Yeah, right, that isn’t funny, that’s bad word play, cut it out. _Marco wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes.__

__His own secret is just the opposite, something simple, something hiding just under his skin that could easily get spotted. Or at least that’s what it feels like, self obsessed, caught up in his own head. His own secret isn’t just easy to to believe, it’s easy to assume._ _

__**7** _ _

__Tell a friend you have a secret. Ask them to guess. No one will predict that you can turn into a fish. Someone will certainly ask if you’re in love._ _

__**8** _ _

__This isn’t just Jared’s secret, it’s his family’s. He’s fae, on his mother’s side. Marco realizes how funny that is, that a women from the sturgeon clan married into the Spurgeon name — it’s cute. It’s a family secret. A family history that Jared shares with his sister, his brother, his fish-cousins, and whoever else. It’s something private that holds them together._ _

__Marco’s family doesn’t do secrets, except for recipes, but that’s only temporary, leverage to make sure he marries someone they approve of. Marco’s family does loud. They do gossip. They love him, he knows that. His family loves him, and they say so frequently, with words and food and touches. He loves them too, but they’re loud, and Catholic, and gossip. Marco doesn’t have secrets _about_ his family, he keeps secrets _from_ his family, at least from most of them, at least for now. It’s simpler. It might be. He isn’t sure. It’s working. For now._ _

__**9** _ _

__“But seriously, what the fuck, you can turn into a fish,” Marco says through a mouth full of toothpaste. They’re getting ready for bed. It’s all very normal, except that Jared can turn into a fish. But really that’s normal, that’s always been true, only now Marco knows about it. That’s different._ _

__Jared shoulders him away from the sink. (Marco lets him; Jared would have a hard time moving him if he didn’t want to be moved.) He spits, takes a drink of water, then says, “God, shut up about it. It really isn’t that big of a deal.”_ _

__Jared is really wrong. “Dude, you can turn into a fish — a crazy dinosaur fish! Because you’re magic! That’s a huge deal.”_ _

__Jared sighs. “Don’t be weird about it.”_ _

__“I’m not being weird, I’m excited!”_ _

__“Kind of, but you’re kind of being a dick.”_ _

__Maybe, but Jared can turn into a fish, so fuck it. Marco spits out his toothpaste and rinses his mouth out. “You can _turn into a fish._ That’s so cool.”_ _

__Jared makes a face at him._ _

__“I’m just amazed,” Marco says honestly. They move back to the bedroom, sit down on their own beds. “It’s like, you seem like you know what you’re doing. You seem so normal, normaller than me.”_ _

__“I don’t know about that,”Jared says._ _

__Marco shrugs. “Eh, maybe.” Maybe. Maybe not._ _

__**10** _ _

__Marco grew up Catholic. He isn’t really a Catholic anymore, at least not a good one, because it doesn’t work great with some of the things he definitely is. He isn’t really _not_ a Catholic; mostly he’s not trying. But that’s how he grew up. He grew up with confession. He was raised hearing that you could admit to something once, get absolved, and then it’s over. That’s a nice thought, but it’s not how secrets work between normal people. When you confess to a person they know it, then your secret is theirs to share, forever and ever, amen._ _

__Knowing this thing about Jared while Jared doesn’t know _the_ thing about him doesn’t seem fair. It’s an unequal exchange._ _

__That doesn’t mean Marco wants to tell Jared anything. That sounds hard. He just wants Jared to know. Then Jared will know. They won’t have to talk about it, but Jared will know, and if he knew that then maybe he could figure out everything else probably, and they wouldn’t have to talk about it, but _Jared would know_ and that would be _better.__ _

__The hardest part of confession is getting the words out. Once they’re out there things settle as they will, but starting that chain reaction takes courage. Marco wants Jared to know, but he doesn't know if he wants to say anything._ _

__**11** _ _

__If they aren’t going to talk about it anymore, they should actually go to sleep. The overhead light is off, but both the bedside lamps are still on._ _

__Jared is already tucked under his covers, while Marco’s just sprawling on top of his. Marco wonders if Jared’s still cold from the water, and if there’s anything he should do to help Jared get warmed up._ _

__“Have you ever told anyone before?” Marco asks._ _

__“No?” Jared says, “Like, people who aren’t family have known before, but not because I told them.”_ _

__“Who else knows?”_ _

__“Um, well, growing up Tyler always knew. His family situation isn’t exactly the same, but he’s still part fae, and it was nice having a friend who I could talk to about stuff. One of my coaches in Spokane was married to a banshee, and he knew. I think someone from the Islanders must have know, but they never talked to me about it. That’s pretty standard, most teams have someone on staff who will be able to tell.”_ _

__NHL teams know about magic. NHL teams know about Fae. This is blowing Marco’s mind. “So the Wild…”_ _

__“Yeah, Fletcher — it’s...we talked about it. It was weird. Fletcher is, I don’t know, but he isn’t all human.”_ _

__Jared says this so casually, like oh, this person who will have a huge amount of influence on your future isn’t human. Whatever, no, big deal, that’s normal. But it _is_ normal for Jared. He isn’t all human himself, and neither is Fletcher, or Tyler Ennis, or some woman in Spokane. There’s a woman in Spokane, Washington who’s a banshee and married to a Junior Hockey coach. Marco didn’t know that banshees were real, but apparently they are. It’s astounding. It makes him want to scream; he could scream if he felt like it, _he’s_ not a banshee._ _

__“This is pretty crazy,” Marco says._ _

__“Yeah, I guess.” Jared doesn’t seem phased. “Are you going to be ok?”_ _

__Marco shrugs. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Maybe._ _

__**12** _ _

__Magic is real. Fae are real. The GM of the Minnesota Wild isn’t human. Marco’s defensive partner can turn into a fish. Really, why does it matter if Marco’s into dudes?_ _

__**13** _ _

__“You’re kind of freaking out, yeah? I thought about this, whether or not you’d freak out, and how bad it could be. It’s not so bad. You aren’t yelling; you believe me; you didn’t try to hurt me.”_ _

__“I’d never,” Marco says. He looks across the gap between the beds to look Jared in the eye. He’d _never_ do that, not even if Jared turned into a shark and tried to eat him._ _

__“Yeah, but some people would. I thought about it.”_ _

__“I wouldn’t,” Marco says again._ _

__“I didn’t think you would, that’s why I could tell you.” They’re talking very quietly, maybe that’s why Jared gets up and moves from his own bed to sit next to Marco. Whatever the reason is, Marco likes it._ _

__He’s still fighting off panic, but something warm rushes into fill his chest because Jared trusts him, Jared knows Marco wouldn’t hurt him, and that’s very good. That’s how it should be._ _

__“Telling you is selfish, kind of,” Jared says. “You’d be better off not knowing. I just made the world more complicated for you. It shouldn’t be dangerous, but it could be. I’m sorry.”_ _

__Marco would say it doesn’t matter, he’d say he doesn’t care, but that’s not true. It matters, he cares, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t glad he knows. And just because he’s glad it doesn’t mean that Jared’s apology isn’t appreciated. It’s a lot to get thrown into, and not anything Marco asked for. But mostly he thinks it’s neat that Jared trusts him this much._ _

__“Why _did_ you decide to tell me?” Marco asks._ _

__Jared shrugs. “I don’t know.”_ _

__“Bullshit.” Marco may not know a lot of things, he may be confused about a lot, but he knows this is bullshit. Jared had a plan. He did this deliberately. He thought this through, and Marco wants to know what that thought process was like, because yeah, the world’s a lot different now, with magical inhuman creatures, and knowing this will help Marco know where he fits in._ _

__“I guess I thought it would be good to tell someone,” Jared says. “Like, there’s a lot to worry about, and having a secret gets tiring. I thought it would be better if someone else knew.”_ _

__“But why me?” Marco asks._ _

__Jared shrugs. “You’re nice, or whatever. And I thought I could trust you, and...yeah.”_ _

__Marco makes a face, because he doesn’t know what’s going on in his heart. What does _trust_ even mean? And can it go both ways?_ _

__Marco wants to explain this all away, to make it seem normal. “You trust me because I’m awesome, obviously, so yeah, of course you like me.”_ _

__The end of the sentence is barely out of Marco’s mouth when he freezes. “Um.” Shit. That wasn’t a good way to put that. “I mean, we’re buddies. I like you too, it’s...whatever.”_ _

__“Yeah…”_ _

__They’re getting too close to Marco’s truth, skirting along the edge of what he hasn’t been saying. He can’t seem to stop talking. “I mean, you’re a fish — I mean, you’re fae, you can turn into a fish, but I still like you a lot. You’re, like, likable, and like, cute, or something, I guess.”_ _

__Wow, that sounds terrible._ _

__“Cute, you guess?” Jared repeats._ _

__Marco’s looking at everywhere that isn’t Jared. He feels so gangly and awkward, not at all like Jared who’s delicate and poised and _cute_._ _

__“Yeah, um.” Marco bites his lips. “I like you, like…” He doesn’t know how to put it. “Like that. I like guys, like that. I like you.”_ _

__Marco had been working so hard to not to say any of this, but now that he’s said it once he wants to say it again and again and again._ _

__“I, um.” Trying to live through the space between Jared’s _um_ and his next word is going to kill him. Marco’s never going to hear the rest of the sentence because he’s going to be dead._ _

__“I like you too,” Jared says, which is really the best thing Marco could imagine hearing. It might actually be the strangest thing Marco’s ever heard, which is odd, because earlier in the evening Jared told Marco he can turn into a fish, but this still seems stranger, and harder to believe. He _saw_ Jared turn into a fish, there was a sturgeon there in the swimming pool. _I like you, _is just three little worlds, and Marco knows how easy it is to tell lies. He’d maybe like to see some proof.___ _

____**14** _ _ _ _

____Jared won’t be the first boy Marco’s ever kissed, he’ll be the fourth, but he will be the first tiny awesome fae boy who’s also Marco’s teammate and a really good friend who Marco has half wanted to kiss since they met over the summer. Marco does have some experience with kissing boys, but really, nothing like this._ _ _ _

____**15** _ _ _ _

____The last time they leaned in close like this it was to talk about trust. Jared said _I trust you_ , then went on to demonstrate just how strong that trust was in fairly extraordinary way by turning into a fish. Marco proved that trust was merited by not totally freaking out. They trust each other._ _ _ _

____Now they’re going to kiss, because they like each other too. They like each other and they trust each other a lot. Marco’s never kissed anyone who he likes and trusts this much, so much. It’s almost hard to believe this is happening, but the world _is_ a very strange place. Jared can turn into a fish, and they’re going to kiss, and the world is a strange and beautiful place, because they’re going to kiss, but only if Marco can calm down enough to move the last few inches so their mouths meet._ _ _ _

____Jared is braver than him, very brave, for the second time tonight. He let his secret out first, now he’s leading the charge towards kissing. Marco likes him a whole lot._ _ _ _

____The first press of their lips is tentative and dry, but it gets better, it gets to be _more._ Jared moves closer, and all Marco has to do is kiss back._ _ _ _

____**16** _ _ _ _

____Marco didn’t have proof that magic was real before tonight, but he always at least half believed in it. He knew that magic should be real because kissing is real and kissing is magic. He had kissed five whole people before Spurg turned into a fish in front of him, and those five people were enough to make him believe. Spurg is the sixth, a full half dozen, it’s the number on his back, the round he was drafted in the Q. He doesn’t think he’s ever going to ever want to kiss a seventh person, not considering how good this is. Spurg is sitting in his lap, kissing him breathless. You don’t need to breath if you’re kissing. That’s clear enough evidence that kissing must be magic._ _ _ _

____**17** _ _ _ _

____Jared’s hair is getting too long, shaggy and hanging in front of his eyes. It’s drying messily, still a bit damp from his adventure in the pool. It’s soft, sliding through Marco’s fingers. He pulls just a little bit, not on purpose, it just got tangled, but Jared makes a noise into his mouth that sounds real good. Marco wants to hear it again, and he learns he likes the way that that tugging at Jared’s hair makes their hips grind together. He likes how Jared’s fingers dig into his shoulders. And of course he likes the kissing. So much kissing._ _ _ _

____They’ve been kissing for an awfully long time. This kiss has lasted longer than the kisses Marco shared with the second and fourth person he kissed combined._ _ _ _

____Maybe that’s a bad way to think about kisses, quantitatively, in terms of the numbers of people or duration. That’s like, scientific, and kisses are magic. Marco shouldn’t even think about these things, he should just think about the kissing, and the other things that go along with that. That he’s hard, and that he can feel that Jared is too._ _ _ _

____This moment here is just as peculiar as when Jared turned into a fish. This feels more like a dream. Marco doesn’t usually dream magical realism. When his dreams are fantasy they’re _fantasies_ , they’re about sex. He’s dreamed of this moment before, give or take a few details. This is better. Jared is warmer than Marco imagined, and his skin tastes sweeter._ _ _ _

____Dreams are good, but they aren’t true. Dreams can’t be trusted. But Marco can believe in this, he can bask in this kiss. Jared’s heavier than Marco would have thought, pressing against a bruise from a shot Marco blocked with his thigh. This isn’t made up, this is actually happening._ _ _ _

____**18** _ _ _ _

____To state the obvious, tonight has been a weird night. Not in a bad way, it’s just been exceptionally weird. It’s been the weirdest night in Marco’s whole life. He doesn’t know how he would explain it._ _ _ _

____**19** _ _ _ _

____“So there’s this boy I like. We went down to the swimming pool after curfew. He told me he trusted me, then he got naked, then he jumped in the water, then he turned into a fish. That’s a thing he can do because he’s fae. Fae are a thing. Yeah, I don’t really get it either. Then we went back to our room and talked about it, and it still doesn’t all make sense yet, but I feel a lot better now, because he really does trust me, and I trust him too. Now we’re making out, and I think we’re going to get off together, which is really exciting, except I really like him and we haven't talked about any of this yet, and I think that maybe we should? Because I want to do this again, and again, and again, and again, because I really, _really_ like him a whole lot. It’s all super weird. All of it. Every bit of this is weird. And I like it. What does that say about me?”_ _ _ _

____**20** _ _ _ _

____“I like you,” Marco says, as they take a moment to breathe. (Breathing _is_ necessary. The magic of kissing is that you forget this for a while, but you do still need to breathe. Unless you’re a fish. Fish still need oxygen, but they don’t breathe, not like humans. Fish have gills? Except for how sometimes fish are people? Fish don’t kiss like people. Unless they do? Is Marco kissing a fish? Is that a thing? Like, a real thing, not just a thing he should stop thinking about? It’s definitely a thing he should stop thinking about.) “I like you like crazy,” Marco says._ _ _ _

____“I like you too,” Jared says, then ducks into another kiss, which Marco likes so damn much, but he has to pull away._ _ _ _

____He has to say, “I like you, and I want to do this again.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes,” Jared says. Just yes. Yes feels good. Marco wants more yeses._ _ _ _

____“Not just sex, I think you and me should be a thing.”_ _ _ _

____“Uh-huh, yeah,” Jared says, then they kiss again._ _ _ _

____In the next pause Marco says, “I want to take you out to dinner.”_ _ _ _

____“That sounds good, yes, we should do that, take me out to dinner. But not tonight.”_ _ _ _

____Marco nods, and goes back to the kiss. Absolutely not tonight. It’s late, they’re not going anywhere. They’re staying in their room, in this bed, good things are going to happen. Later, though…_ _ _ _

____Later they’ll go on dates and hang out and have more sex and maybe hold hands. Marco isn’t sure. But they’ll figure it out._ _ _ _

____They made it through Jared saying he’s a fish, and Marco saying he likes Jared, like _likes-him_ likes-him, which was a hard thing to say. But they made it through all the confusion and awkwardness, they trusted each other enough to keep going, now here they are—kissing. Kissing again, still kissing, continuing to kiss; it’s just like magic._ _ _ _

____**21** _ _ _ _

____And then they have sex. Or, like, handjobs, but that counts. It's pretty fucking magical. For a moment Marco can't breathe or think or anything, and that's basically the best thing ever. Absolutely._ _ _ _

____**22** _ _ _ _

____Marco doesn’t know how he’d describe it. He knows some of the words he’d use: breathless, good, new, close, soft, hard, better, warm. It was certainly warm. They tried to be quiet. They kissed and breathed and kissed more and touched each other. More and more touching until they stopped breathing; hearts racing, maybe skipping a beat as they came. Close. Close enough to hear each other’s heartbeats._ _ _ _

____Marco doesn’t know how he’d order his words to describe any of it, but that’s okay. This isn’t something he needs to talk about. He knows, and Spurg knows, and no one else has too. It’s not a burden of a secret, it’s just _private_ , and _good._ They don’t have to explain it to anyone else._ _ _ _

____If, for example, they wind up sitting by Kass at breakfast in the morning — a very possible possibility — and Kass asks what they were up to adventuring out of bed after curfew the night before, Marco can shrug and say nothing, or none of your business, or that it isn’t important._ _ _ _

____Kass is a little bit nosey, which is why Marco is expecting a question at breakfast, but he’s not actually a dick. He wants them to be happy. If Marco smiles and says they’re good Kass won’t ask any other questions._ _ _ _

____But that isn’t until tomorrow morning, if ever. Marco doesn’t have to think that far ahead. He can just enjoy where he is right now._ _ _ _

____**23** _ _ _ _

____They haven’t moved yet. They’re still stuck together, sticky bare skin, half under the top sheet, the scratchy comforter kicked to the floor. Jared is mostly lying on his chest. Marco’s hand is on Jared’s back. They can’t seem to stop touching._ _ _ _

____“We should turn out the light,” Jared says sleepily._ _ _ _

____“Yeah.” Marco’s pretty sure this isn’t a dream, that the whole evening — the fish, the confessions, the sex, all of it — will still have happened when he wakes up. Still, he doesn’t know if he wants to sleep. He could happily spend the next few hours tracing circles on Jared’s skin. They should probably go to sleep soon, for real, with their eyes closed, not this half awake state they’re stuck in._ _ _ _

____Going to sleep and dreaming, that’s a different type of magic. Marco used to be really amazed by it, that he could close his eyes and rest while living through technicolor adventures in his mind. It doesn’t seem as impressive now, not compared to the physical transformation of Jared into a fish, or to the heady rush of kisses and more._ _ _ _

____Marco really likes looking at Jared’s skin in the lamp light. Jared’s skin is soft-smooth-good-more-please. It’s too good for Marco’s hand, for his jagged fingernails, his torn up cuticles, his calluses. He has real hands; there’s no magic._ _ _ _

____Except for how half an hour ago he had his hands on Jared’s cock, even softer skin, even more vulnerable, skin Marco was almost scared of. Skin Marco wanted to taste. He was allowed to touch, encouraged to. Jared pressed into his hand, thrusted his hips into Marco’s hold. Jared seemed to like the drag of his calluses, all the little imperfections._ _ _ _

____When Jared touched him, his hands were human too. Good hands. Marco was desperate for Jared to touch him with his real good, very human hands, more and more, a good rhythm between them. It was just like magic, but _real.__ _ _ _

____Not that magic isn’t real, of course. Jared can turn into a fish. Magic’s a real big deal, but that doesn’t mean that all the little human moments, the afterglow and the papercuts, mean any less. If anything they’re more important. They seem special in contrast, startlingly mundane compared to real magic. Marco likes moments like this. He thinks they’re important. Jared’s head resting on his chest, Marco’s hand resting on Jared’s back. Very warm. Very close. Very good. Sticky and sweaty, the magic of boring humanity. Marco maybe likes this the best, better than kissing, better than confessions, better than any rush of words and emotions. This might feel more real. Maybe._ _ _ _

____**24** _ _ _ _

____If Marco had to explain tonight he could do it. He knows what the most honest thing to say would be. He probably wouldn’t say it if someone asked him, he’d almost certainly lie, but he knows what the true thing to say would be. It’s pretty simple._ _ _ _

____**25** _ _ _ _

_____So Scandi, what happened last night?_ _ _ _ _

____“I’m not really sure yet, there’s a lot that still doesn’t make sense, but I think I might be falling in love?”_ _ _ _


End file.
